as a rookie deacon, i've been trying to find my fit in ministry. how best to serve the church.
i'm happy to report, dear reader of funegro, my month of november obligation has now become my passion: counting attendance.
of course, the power of a clipboard and the freedom to hang with the sound guys in the balcony is intoxicating.
but it's the accurate count that i find to be so elusive, so seductive, and yet so compelling.
for years, our brotherhood has been subjected to sloppy counting techniques. i, myself, have borne witness to numbers that were a bit too round, so-called "preacher counts," and some just not finishing the work by citing the biblical precedent of joab in 1Ch 27:24.
it's a vexing problem, to be certain, what with parishioners carelessly milling about the halls and going "to the bathroom" -- all during prime counting time.
to guard against the dreaded double count (curse you, o counter's nemesis!) i took the bold initiative to chalk the back of every member and guest as they entered the sanctuary last nite. admittedly, this move took most by surprise -- especially that one lady in the cashmere suit. but i do believe the spirit of my effort was appreciated. or at least it will be over time.
of course, this lo-fi chalk effort was merely child's play, serving as a stopgap measure until my requisition to retrofit nametags with rfid tags is approved.
in addition to the moratorium i'm placing on coats draped over pews and that numbered vest experiment, i welcome your bold ideas.
i can't rest until every person is counted. on my watch, no child (or adult) will be left behind.
3 comments:
I applaud your efforts as Deacon in Charge of Enumeration. 'Tis a noble work that you do.
Have you considered installing turnstiles at the entrance to the auditorium? Bar code stickers that each member could place on their Bible and scan on their way into the building? Installing a huge scale underneath the floor in the auditorium to conduct a count based on average weight? Hyper-sensitive thermometers to count based on rise in temperature? The ACU chapel attendance technique of assigned seating with pictures taken during the worship service? Require members to have boarding passes to enter the auditorium and install kiosks in the lobby for them to check in.
i'm intrigued and inspired by the bold ideas kris has to share on this sizzling topic.
i've been tinkering with another counting method on my garage workbench and in the kitchen.
water displacement.
based on my forecasting models and member/buoyancy ratio calculations, this approach would seem to yield an excitingly accurate count.
but let's say by 6.20 on a typical sunday nite service the water in the auditorium were raised 59 inches (that's reading it from the bottom of the meniscus), i'm afraid the margin for error is still too great, due to the unknown density of content in bookbags, purses, and unclaimed pyrex casserole dishes.
it's probably worth a try, though.
And don't get me started on those that attend BOTH services.
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