the strangest thing happened to me last nite. i was sitting at home, reading the newspaper, minding my own business, when sasquatch thrust his hairy hand-paw appendage through our plate glass window and . . . wait. that was the second strangest thing.

actually, the strangest thing last nite was a letter of apology i got in the mail from the good folks at entertainment weekly, acknowledging the billing error and promising to correct it.

if only they had the restitution ethos of zaccheus -- to offer me a "fourfold" makegood.

regardless, my faith in shallow celebrity journalism is restored!

Strangest thing happened tonight. I received an unsolicited call from someone at Entertainment Weekly just checking in to see if there were any issues that I needed help in resolving. How thoughtful...

mary's back. now i'm thinking about a getaway. kind of a warm up for santa fe.

here's the info on that possum kingdom golf deal. (and the link)

and an article on the resort/course from last week's dallas morning news.

need a warm up for pebble, e?

Winter Unlimited Golf Packages

$109 Weekday $139 Weekend
A room at The Inn all to yourself and two days of unlimited golf.
(888) 843-2543 or (888) THE-CLIFFS
Offer expires March 1, 2004. Not Valid Holidays. Single/Double Occupancy. Offer Subject to change without notice. Subject to availability.

Contact numbers: 888-843-2543 (reservations); 940-779-4520 (golf shop); 940-779-4502 (The Inn at The Cliffs).

the following is a log i maintained while i was in phone hell.

this particular form of punishment was brought upon me last saturday when i tried to correct an erroneous charge on my best buy credit card statement. in the amount of $24.95. it was a subscription to entertainment weekly. whatever. i didn't subscribe to it through best buy. but trying to right this wrong banished me into a form of damnation that was rod serlling-esque.

anyway, i was at the computer while i was on hold. so i kept this log.

i find it catharctic to post this. thanks for indulging me.

******************************

Call the number on the credit card statement
navigate my way through a push button menu
Wait
Wait
a human tells me that I need to call best buy
So I call best buy
After giving my zip code, confirm my credit card partner, something else. I detail my problem
Silence.
“I’m just a finance person. I’m not equipped to handle your request."
apparently i'm in the wrong place
i get another number to call.
i Enter my account number 5 different times
Punch in untold numbers trying to unlock where the human is. this is a puzzle.
Just want to correct the wrong
at last, i find a human
Gives me another number to call
I call
Another wall of touch pad options
wait six minutes
Endure ads
Messages
Reaffirmations
I can’t tell you how frustrated I am
"Your call is important to us so please stay on the line"
Wait
Wait
All I want to do is correct the 24.95 wrong
"Finding a bb store is as hassle free as something . . . "
"All reps are assisting other customers. Please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order that it was received."
"Want a rebate?"

This automated cheery sounding slacker at best buy gives me my options
At least he speaks to me like a human
But I’ve gotta wait
"Your call is important to us so please stay on the line."
"All reps are still assisting other customers"
"Got a repair issue?"
"Please continue to stay on the line"
What a *@&$%! labyrinthe!
Am I trying to get through to the white house. Bill gates house? the kremlin?
"Want a job at best buy?"
"Your call is important to us, so please stay on the line."
it's been so long, i don't remember what section I’m in. Rebates? Return policy? Privacy policy?
"Please stay on the line."
At la=st a human
"You’ll have to call entertainment weekly"
which i do
another touch pad maze
another barrage of recordings
"Ask how you can save up to 77% on your subscription"
some music
now Chloe is in the room
this is contemporary Jazz
interrupted by "Your call is important to us. Please continue ot hold. We appreciate your patience."
This counsel sounds like its coming from a wiser man. Like an old shoeshine guy.
Now some Bad, brassy jazz that cuts out on every fifth note.
Was that a tuba?
Now some Richard claiderman-esque piano. Soothing.
There’s the wise man again, beseeching my patience.
we're now going on 30 minutes
I approached this very cavalierly
Never again will I buy anything with anything other than cash.
Chloe’s into the toothbrush.
Chloe tipped my cds over.
There’s that man again.
Is that an oboe?
If I knew how to put this on speaker phone I would
8 minutes later.
I’m multitasking doing bills, parenting, reading mail
My ear and shoulder are hurting from this hold status
I can’t express the depths of my anger right now
a human
she can't deal with my seemingly elementary problem
"Can you hold while I get an account specialist on the line"
Summer breeze is muzaked for my wait enjoyment
Added some sizzle to this one. seals and croft would be proud.
Three minutes have passed
Now it’s "stand by me"
this version rocks
My daughter has some razors
WHERE IS THE ACCOUNT SPECIALIST!
At the 5.39 mark, it’s a new song. I don’t recognize it. At 6.32, I think it might be sister Christian
It’s been 14 minutes
I’ve paid bills. I’ve sent emails.
I’m so angry.
WHERE IS THE ACCOUNT SPECIALIST!
Wait. I know this song.
That’s steely dan. Get back jack do it again.
I can’t do it again.
I’m quitting
I’ve waited 18.33 for an account specialist.
19.50
ten more seconds
gone

am here at the house while mary cavorts with a girlfriend in santa fe.

her presence at 10K waves this weekend -- while well-deserved --mocks me. especially as i gaze at the l.l.bean fly fishing 2004 catalog that magically appeared in our mailbox this week. my soul longs for the pecos. perhaps less so for the lawson's thorax callibaetis fly on p. 26. regardless, this piece of direct mail has me so fired up for the camaraderie, the adventure, the subplots and backstories of mountain ball, the pepsi and the scrabble that awaits us. (will we encounter a new word that drives us to create yet another blog site?)

kris -- could this be the year that you complete our harley riding triumvirate? aside from the sheer thrill and adrenaline that comes from the ride, you would empower us to ride in our patented "flying v" formation. the menacing formation we enjoyed oh so briefly with jefe on that fateful cloudy saturday in 2002. one more benefit: the adoration of skank chicks at every allsup's between albuquerque and los alamos. ok. one more benefit. looking like gazoo from the flintstones as you wear a giant white rented cycle helmet. cooooooooool.

i wish i'd thought of this game.

320.2 is my best.

Ted Nugent is having a tough time surviving his own reality show.

While taping the second installment of his VH1 series Surviving Nugent: The Ted Commandments, the Motor City rocker was injured on the show's Texas set when a chainsaw cut through his leg.

Nugent needed 40 stitches to close the gash in his leg, but he did not miss any time on the series, which is scheduled to tape through Sunday, according to a VH1 spokesperson.

With the help of a brace, the 55-year-old musician and outdoor enthusiast continued to man the show on which he attempts to turn unsuspecting city slickers into wary woodsman.

RipDigital: Convert your music CDs to a digital music library

Interesting service...

What a way to begin the new year! An inaugural post from Jefe!

In the spirit of New Year's Hubris...here are some of my goals for 2004:

- Win the Masters
- Learn to play the guitar
- Breathe less
- Grow to 6' 6"
- Have the most dramatic prayer request at every devotional
- Find the good in people and belittle it
- EITHER Repair the hole in the ozone OR clean out the garage
- Win the World Series of Poker
- Pancakes
- Increase my bone density
- Become a Navy SEAL
- Reverse engineer McDonald's secret sauce
- Refer to at least one person in every business meeting as Chachi

blog on...

KO

so good to have jefe check in with us.

as we seek purpose and clarity in our lives -- particularly with the promise of a fresh, new year at our doorstep -- here's a wonderful and powerful challenge. from our friend landon saunders. check it.

--------------------

Someone has said, "Life is the living you do. Death is the living you don't do."

There is something exciting about a human being who's born, walks with great purpose and dignity through life, and completes her life feeling she has finished her work. But how does one do this?

I believe there is a way to put all your energy into a great purpose that will never leave you feeling sorry about "the living you don't do." I can sum it up in nine words: Spend your life fighting for people, never against them.

Do you see the bigness of this plan? Can you sense the depth of its challenge? Can you let yourself be engaged and excited by it?

Think of the petty squabbles you can avoid because your mission is so large that only heroic struggles are worthy of you. The fight for people will call forth your best, will create your best, will demand your best.

It's a challenging plan, and it will disturb you at times. And yet, it will also help you get up and really get going every morning.

Best of all, no matter what happens, you'll be able to complete your life, one day at a time, with dignity and style. This is something you can do-anywhere, anytime, everywhere, all the time, including the last day of your life.

happy new year, my funegro friends. sitting here with a special guest star who has something to share with the blogging community.

Humbly I come to you - as I have been a somewhat reluctant Funegro user.. in fact my memory was that of frustration and anger... Alas that is for the Old Year and not the NEW! I finish up this holiday season here in Texas w/ Biggs - having spent time with all involved during the time here and thankful that I was able to see everyone.

And here is my parting sentiment for today, this of a first ion the New Year... may this year bring peace and blessings to each of you and your families and may we each know the favor of The Lord. (See, I get too maudling (sp?) once I start to write - but I guess it;s better than the profanity that was spouted at last posting.) I feel welcomed back to the fold... Thanks to Dr. Biggers... by the way this is Jefe