employee recognition

DART passengers disembarking at the Arapaho station are greeted with this poster at the train stop.

Let me congratulate Mr. Gardner II (undoubtedly from a proud lineage of train operators) on this recognition. This humble commuter looks forward to riding on a train captained by this lord of the rails.

I'm afraid I may be too late, though.

With this honor, I would expect he's risen above merely driving the train. No doubt with his new pedigree, he'll take on a Captain Stubing sort of role onboard, mixing it up with the rank and file riders. ("How's your ride this morning?" "Why, that's an unusual fragrance you're sporting." "Good afternoon, Homey, is that the new Snoop album you're listening to?")

Maybe JMG2 would invite a select few to dine with him at the Rail Operator's table. Or graciously point out some of the facts of the train, to say nothing of engaging the stunned commuters with his charming repartee. He would reassure and edu-tain over the tinny PA system. "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. It's a pleasure to have you aboard. In the next 20 seconds, we'll be reaching a maximum speed of 51 miles per hour, then rapidly decelerating for another stop. I hope you've had as much fun riding the train today as I've had serving you."

Sure he might take the wheel for a ceremonial drive, for a fundraiser perhaps. Or for part of his DART farewell tour as he takes the big offer from Amtrak.

Of course, there's a downside of having your picture posted on a train stop that services such a diverse and colorful constituency. Let's just say I wouldn't expect Mr. Gardner II's shining face to be unblemished for too much longer. In fact, it would seem to be the equivalent of an open book test for taggers. Or it could be a brilliantly disguised sting operation to flush out the city's defacers. Regardless, over the next few days (hours?) I'm afraid the shining visage of our city's Rail Operator of the Year will undergo a significant and entirely unsanctioned overhaul, including (yet not limited to) blackened teeth, "crazy eyes", and, quite possibly, devil's horns.

Seems like a curious way to recognize a top employee -- and a heckuva train driver.