Father's Day: The New #1

While in the bliss of my Father’s Day massage at Nordstrom yesterday afternoon, I had a minor revelation.

That Father’s Day has edged out the birthday on my personal list of important dates.

Don’t get me wrong. I still love the birthday, the cake and associated pageantry.

Yet it slipped to second in the rankings of days for which I am uniquely qualified to be honored.

The current rankings:
1. Father’s Day
2. Birthday
3. Wedding Anniversary
4. Labor Day (the day off here gives it the edge)
5. Valentine’s Day

This is a massive move for Father’s Day. All my life I’d viewed the day as a Hallmark fabrication, a quasi-Title IX maneuver to level the field severely tilted by the wildly popular Mother’s Day.

But my perception changed yesterday. There are a few reasons that come to mind and account for this day rocketing up the charts to the top spot.

1. Father’s Day is a shared experience.

This year I took more pleasure than usual in both extending and receiving Father’s Day wishes to and from total strangers. For a day, we were connected by a fraternity of fatherhood. I also found great joy in exchanging wishes with dear friends whose parenting skills I respect – and whose children I know and admire. And, of course, the privilege of exchanging wishes with my own dad, with whom I relate to more with each passing year. Contrast that to the birthday experience which can feel a bit solitary – although I do share a birthday with my mother and Johnny Bench.

2. Father’s Day and the U.S. Open. Absolute genius.

3. Father’s Day honors some degree of achievement (noting here the distinction between fathering a child and being a father). Technically speaking, the birthday simply recognizes another year of survival on this planet.

4. For Father’s Day, a silly song is not obligatorily directed at you by co-workers or restaurant personnel.

5. Father’s Day is a collective and societal celebration of values, priorities and family.

6. And that family of mine gave me some really thoughtful and cool gifts – including the massage.

7. Numerically speaking, it’ll be a few more years before my birthday gets interesting. Plus, Father’s Day feels more novel (only had 10 of those).

8. Your chance of getting an unfunny, off-color card and/or novelty gift for Father's Day is significantly less than on your birthday.

9. I ignored work this Father’s Day weekend. Instead, I swam with my kids, sat with my family and watched the beautifully touching and affirming Up, and, from my third base coaching box, waved my son home for his first home run of the season.

Maybe I’m late to this Father’s Day party. A co-worker told me he’s always ranked Father’s Day higher. But for me, this was the year I got it. The year the rankings shifted.

Of course, it’s only mid-June. Come September, Labor Day could come on strong . . .